The Twelve Days of Christmas

This time of year always seems to creep up on me. I'm one of those people who starts shopping the weekend before Christmas, not because I planned it that way, but because I just seem to run out of time.

If I had it my way, I would spend the twelve days before Christmas differently. I would go ice skating, go downtown just to admire the decorations, and bake cookies. Then I would go to see the Nutcracker, volunteer my time for a great charity, and host a holiday cocktail party. Next I would take my kids to Lake Tahoe to build snowmen and make snow angels, and send out holiday cards. I would also take a family portrait, have all my gifts done, wrapped and under the tree.

And actually relax and enjoy the holidays. Maybe someday.

Everyone knows the Twelve Days of Christmas song (if not, see lyrics below), and one year when dining at my cousin's house on Christmas Eve, we sang it. It was laugh out loud funny. Here's the thing, my cousin left a note card at each person's place setting with the verse they were in charge of. There were one-two people assigned to each verse and then she left the fifth verse (five gold rings) for our family friend who has this big voice and was sure to ham it up. Each person was to stand and sing out their verse and then sit down. The result was so much fun. My mother in law was visiting from Morocco that year, and even though she didn't understand, she was laughing the whole time at watching us all stand up and sit for each of our verses all the way through the song. Even if you are not the type to sing Christmas carols, this was fun.

This year, as I was thinking about this post, I started listing things off in my head that I would want, as a writer, for my twelve Christmas gifts. So below are my revised lyrics, just for fun. I will skip the repeats to save time.

On the first day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
Your best seller is under the tree, sign it for me?

On the second day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
You have fifty more five star reviews on Amazon.

On the third day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
I'll make dinner so you can write.

On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
Would you like a massage?

On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
You have voicemails from all Big Five Publishers! They want the movie rights!

On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
I understand you need those pictures on Pinterest, it's research.

On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
Can I get you a glass of wine?

On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
Let me take the kids out, so you can have some peace and quiet.

On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
You don't spend too much time on social media.

On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
Invite The Writing Wenches over for Christmas.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
I got you a credit card just for buying books with no limit. I'll pay the bill.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love said to me:
Write. It's who you are and what you do. I support you.
And...
I got you a credit card just for buying books with no limit. I'll pay the bill.
Invite The Writing Wenches over for Christmas.
You don't spend too much time on social media.
Let me take the kids out, so you can have some peace and quiet.
Can I get you a glass of wine?
I understand you need those pictures on Pinterest, it's research.
You have voicemails from all Big Five Publishers! They want the movie rights!
Would you like a massage?
I'll make dinner so you can write.
You have fifty more five star reviews on Amazon.
Your best seller is under the tree, sign it for me?

To give my husband a little credit, he actually does give me massages, makes me dinner and will give me some quiet time to write.

And here is the original version for you to enjoy!

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten Lords a Leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords a Leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
12 Drummers Drumming
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords a Leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids a Milking
Seven Swans a Swimming
Six Geese a Laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

There you have it. Happy Holidays.

You can find me online at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com