Monday, July 28, 2014

Men and Romance

So last week I posted the following question on Facebook and Twitter... Does reading or writing romance affect your relationship with your partner?

The responses I received were interesting and so I decided to follow it up with the following post...
Men, single, married, in a relationship, you want to know what women want, what they think about, what they dream about? Pick up a romance novel. It will be an enjoyable eye opener. If one of your buddies gives you crap about it, just tell them it's research. You will be glad you did. Just a suggestion from Your Sweet and Spicy Romance Author 

That post also generated some great response. So here I am, deciding to again follow up, this time on my blog.

In this exploration I am going to use my own views on this subject instead of generalizing since, I hope you will see by the end of this post, that is part of the problem.

What reading genres do we, sorry do I, (boy it is hard not to generalize on this subject, so forgive me if I slip up here and there) expect men to read? 

Mystery, suspense, horror, fantasy, scifi, literary fiction, how to books, maybe history? 

Ok that is a fair assumption, but why not romance? 

Women read all the genres above (not to generalize again, because I'm sure there are women who don't read romance) and also read romance and all it's lovely sub-genres. 

So in a day and age when men and women strive to be equals, why do men shy away from romance? I mean there are male romance writers out there, but I don't see a lot of men reading romance.

And so I ask, why the hell not? 

Guys, you are missing out on some great literature, all for the sake of not appearing, what, girly? 

I say, you are doing yourselves a disservice. Let me explain.

As far as diversity goes, romance has one of the largest groups of sub-genres. That means within the romance genre there is contemporary, historical, classical, paranormal, suspense, scifi, fantasy, and the list just keeps going. Oh, and did I mention erotica, hmmm.

That means it is not all sonnets and roses guys, not by a long shot.

In this day and age with ereaders, and apps like kindle, nook and IBooks, for reading ebooks on your phone, you don't have to worry about anyone seeing the actual book cover, not that you should be  ashamed, by any means. 

Let me again spell this out... You will read how to make a grand gesture, get insight on why some women may say or do the crazy things we do, know how to be romantic in so many different ways, all while maintaining your manliness and sex appeal. You are basically getting the inside scoop, that other men, who don't read romance, miss out on. All of this extra bonus life material all while being thoroughly entertained. Plus, you get the sex stuff too, let's not pretend that does not make a difference. Just seek out the sub-genre that appeals to you most, fantasy for example, and pick up a fantasy romance novel that grabs your attention from the book blurb. Do it as an experiment if you will. Look for one that has been on the best sellers list to ease your way into it, before venturing into unknown territory. Unless of course it's my book, then by all means enjoy.

As for the guys who think women who read or write romance have unrealistic expectations of their partners, I say there is nothing wrong with wanting grand gestures, romance, and great sex. I think my author friend pretty much sums it up below.

"The fellas that are worried about expectations because their gal reads romance might want to consider upping their game." Michael Simko

Thanks for the wise words Michael.

Feel free to leave a comment, I love comments. Thank you.

You can find me online at
Stalk me on face book at
I tweet under @jsenhaji13

No comments:

Post a Comment