R&R - Rest and Romance

If I’m not working, I’m writing. If I’m not writing, I’m networking. Family time comes down to homework and dinner time. There’s also cleaning, cooking, laundry… There never seems to be enough time in the day or week to get all the things done I want to. I don’t see my family enough. I don’t see my friends nearly enough. My husband and I are often like ships passing in the night with our different work schedules. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m sleep deprived.

This past weekend I was feeling a bit under the weather. Saturday, I should have been writing, but I spent the day on the sofa watching television instead, with no energy for anything. Sunday, I slept in and then went to brunch with the family. I had a ton of things on my to-do list; color hair, laundry, two blog posts, fine tune the outline for my current WIP, a few scenes I should’ve been working on… Instead, I asked my husband to take a nap.

And so we did. We snuggled for a bit, talked, and flirted with doing something more. But relaxing in each other’s arms was so much more enticing than anything else. The phones were put away and the television was turned off. Birds chirping and kids playing outside in the distance floated on the cool breeze whispering through our bedroom window. And eventually, we snoozed.

It was heaven. Romantic. It’s something we should do more often.  Note to self: Must make more time for naps.

Take time to snuggle. Make time to caress and exchange sweet words with your partner. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Give your bodies the rest they need as you connect with your partner on a more intimate level.

 

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Healing Heartbreak - Take Two

There’s more to healing a broken heart than, “get over it.” I admit, my previous post, Healing Heartbreak, was slightly rushed. I can only say that I was sucked into a Harry Potter marathon weekend, on top of pumpkin picking, and an award ceremony for my daughter. It was a bit brief. Let’s dive in a little more, shall we…

One thing I want to make perfectly clear: Loving yourself is number one. Loved ones should lift you up, not bring you down. That means stepping away from a relationship that is not good for you.

How do I define an unhealthy relationship?

·         Do you compromise your morals?

·         Are you constantly trying to change yourself into what you believe is your partner’s ideal?

·         Does it seem as if you are constantly asking for more from this person than they are unwilling to give?

·         Have you lost sight of your own goals and dreams?

·         Do you only know who you are when with your partner?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of all-consuming love and the kind of love that makes your world complete. I’m a romance novelist, for crying out loud. What I’m not okay with is putting someone else’s feelings so far ahead of your own that you lose yourself.

Whatever the reason for the breakup, in my opinion, the best way to get over someone is to get back to yourself. Let’s reverse the damage.

·         Figure out what your boundaries are. What’s your moral high-ground and what are your limits.

·         Discover your beauty. It’s easy to start spouting off what we perceive as our flaws. Instead, make a list of things you love about yourself. Fall in love with you again. It’s okay to be a bit of a narcissist. You should absolutely love yourself for who you are.

·         Understand the difference between giving and receiving love. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be on the receiving end. You’re not being greedy. You’re being honest.

·         Remember the things outside a relationship that make you happy. Make a now-list, not a bucket list. Start checking things off this list now. Take that class you’ve been thinking about. Learn a new language. Travel. Go to the museum. Do what brings you joy. Remember who you are.

·         Be confident in who you are as a person. What makes you tick? What do you like? What annoys you?

I’ve said it before; confidence is sexy. Relationships come with their own set of compromises: A compromise on who makes dinner or where we go for the holidays this year. These are normal. Do not compromise your very being. You want someone who loves the real you.

So, figure you out. Find yourself. Love yourself. Be yourself. You will get over it and find you have a lot more to offer than you thought.

What is the best advice you can give for getting over heartbreak?

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Healing Heartbreak

For those of us who have loved and lost, we know how crippling heartbreak is. Your chest concaves, sucked in on itself by the emotional pressure.

It consumes us. It’s more painful than any injury we can imagine. We feel as if our soul has somehow split into a billion pieces, never to be whole again.

But then, time passes, and we hurt a little less. We stand up. Walk. Run. And soon, we’re alive again. Ready for another chance at love.

The time it takes to recover is different for everyone, but most of us can look back with a sense of relief and understand exactly why it didn’t work out.

Sometimes, it’s timing. Others, it’s the relationship itself. One may not be ready for a relationship. The other may be too afraid to open up. Personalities, circumstance, past experiences… There are so many reasons a relationship can fail.

Whatever the reason, know that your heart will heal.

Fill your lungs with oxygen. Open your eyes to the sky above you.

Life goes on. We go on.

“Love is a risk. It’s putting your heart out there, giving it to someone completely. You risk a broken heart for a chance at the greatest happiness.” Excerpt from Choosing to Dream.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Let Love In

Currently playing on iPod: Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townshend

Like it or not, our life experience shapes the way we view the world and relationships. If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you’re less likely to be open to love. I believe, when it comes to relationships, everything happens for a reason. Remember your first heartbreak? Do you look back now still heartbroken or relieved?

The first time you touch a hot pan you learn to use a pot holder. It doesn’t mean that you never make the same mistake and get burned again, but if the burn is bad enough, you’re more likely to protect yourself from future injury. Does that mean you stop using the stove and never cook again?

Absolutely not.

But what happens when you let your fears of repeating the past prevent you from having a future?

You stop living.

A partner in your past cheated on you, but your current partner may be the definition of loyalty. Don’t project the mistakes of one onto another.

You grew up with divorced parents, but you can still have a successful marriage. “Happily Ever Afters” do exist. We love. We fight. We make up. Real love is worth fighting for.

You may have had a run of bad luck in the relationship department. The next one could be “The One.”

When you’re in a loving relationship, don’t let the worry that something will derail your happiness prevent you from being happy.

Self-sabotage happens. It’s a sad reality that many of us lose out on love because of fear. Sometimes, we put up walls to protect ourselves from further heartbreak. Be careful you don’t build those walls so high you miss the love of your life serenading you at the gate.

A good relationship is a gift. Don’t throw it away because you’re afraid of getting a paper cut. Open it. Cherish it.

You are entitled to love and be loved.

If you’ve survived an abusive relationship, there are certain red flags that you look for in possible partners. These red flags are important in preventing future injury, physical and emotional, and you shouldn’t ignore them.

Learn from the past. Don’t let it destroy your future.

Let love in.

 

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Romance on the Road

Ever read a romance where a couple serendipitously meets and falls in love while on a two week vacation? My novella, Sea Breeze (excuse the shameless plug) is one of them. It’s rather common for films or books to use this plot device to bring two characters together. Some may think it’s too farfetched to happen in real life.

I disagree.

There’s something magical that happens when we’re far from home and away from the practicality of the daily grind. We become more adventurous, less inhibited. We take chances we wouldn’t normally take at home. Whether it’s zip lining, trying new exotic foods, or flirting with a stranger, these things do happen while on vacation in real life and in fiction.

I met my husband on a fifteen-day trip to Morocco. It was love at first sight, or at the minimum lust. There was an urgency in our acquaintance because we knew our time was limited. Instead of getting to know one another over several weeks of dates, we crammed it all into a few intense days together. Makes for a powerful connection.

I believe traveling and experiencing new places and cultures is one of the most rewarding and eye-opening things we can do with our lives. But this also applies to our romantic lives. Sometimes, we need adventure, we need the freedom to set aside our daily responsibilities and allow the romantic inside us to burst forth.

Isn’t it romantic to think about strolling along the Champs Élysées or taking time to sip coffee in Montmartre? I haven’t been to Paris, it’s on the list, but romance is all about discovery. That new, stomach-flipping fire inside to discover everything about a person: What makes them tick, what makes them unique, what makes them so much more freaking attractive than what we have at home. It’s similar to discovering a new place and the desire to pack up all your belongings and move there.

My experience with romance on the road turned into an overseas romance, which eventually resulted in marriage; fifteen years and counting.

So get out and get moving. Romance on the road doesn’t only happen in movies or romance novels. It’s real. If you’re not finding what you’re looking for at home, pack your bags. Take a trip. Maybe you’ll find the love of your life, or maybe you won’t. But isn’t the adventure and the possibility of romance worth the effort?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain.

Have you experienced an epic romance on the road? Comment with your story. It could inspire others to take their own trip.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1