Let's Regress- How I accessed my foutain of youth

Hello blogiverse. Long time no see. Today, I felt it appropriate to document my weekend of regression and thought you might relate. I so fully embraced my regression this weekend that by Sunday night I felt sixteen again, in all the good ways. I call this a win. How did I access this internal fountain of youth, you ask? Ha. See below.

Friday night, I arrived home from work and immediately took my thirteen year old son out for a quick dinner, just us two as my husband and daughter were otherwise engaged. My son proceeds to ask me at what age is it appropriate to lose your virginity. Sigh, I thank my lucky stars he still feels comfortable enough to ask me these questions, but jeez. Wasn’t expecting that one. After our heart to heart about consequences and the like, we took in the awesomeness that is Wonder Woman at our local theater. My son and I are the only two in our family of four that enjoy the super hero genres, DC being our preferred world over Marvel, and the film did not disappoint. It was everything we both wanted it to be. We left the theater feeling 110% satisfied with the film, both chanting “so good” on departure.

 

Saturday, I spent binge watching Riverdale, on Netflix, while eagerly awaiting revisions from my editor on Book 3 of my Sunset Dreams Series, coming later this summer. It was a struggle trying to tamp down my inner teenage lust whilst feeling very much the creepy cougar as I drooled over our new age Archie and Jughead. Lord Almighty, when did Cole Sprouse grow into such a tortured hottie? I mean, he was Julian in Big Daddy. He was Cody on Sweet Life. I feel like such a skeeze, and yet my guilt over his age did not stop me from stalking him and the show on Instagram when I came to the last episode of season 1. Early in the series the Veronica character refers to Jughead as Riverdale’s very own Holden Caulfield. Yes, I nominate him for the role. But fair warning, like Gossip Girl, Riverdale is addictive, only darker, which makes it that much more alluring. The high school students are more witty and quick with literary references than your average teen, but that just appeals to a more…cough, cough… mature audience. Only now I have to wait months for season 2 to air. So unfair. I’ll just be over here on Pinterest.

 

Sunday, I made my way with my twenty-four year old daughter to the NKOTB concert. Openers were Boys II Men, Paula Abdul, and then the boys, now men of NKOTB took the stage. I’ll be honest, it was emotional. I was a mega-fan, borderline groupie of NKOTB back in the day, right up until my daughter came along in 1993. My first tears came when Boys II Men took the stage and they rocked the arena. These were our slow jams. Sigh. Paula Abdul killed a great performance and brought back memories of things I had forgotten. But when Donnie Wahlberg took the stage with his B-town buddies, my inner teenager started screaming. Literally. I yelled, bounced, laughed, shook my rump, and screamed my little heart out some more. They ran the stage as in their twenties, even though they’re all in their forties. There was crowd surfing, shirt ripping, and synchronized dancing. Magic. I was so giddy, so caught up in a time when I was still innocent in so many ways, I was cry/laughing at several points during their performance. But these guys were ripped and spry, by no means old, and definitely no longer boys. Men. And appropriately there was lots of innuendos and plenty of teasing as they made fun of themselves and all of us in the crowd. I probably went to every concert they had locally back in the day. To walk into one of their arena concerts where everyone was between the ages of 35-55 instead of 13-19 was hilarious. But I have to give it to them, their fans are a diverse and loyal bunch of women. At the end of the night, my daughter thanked me for sharing the experience with her. Even now as I type this, my eyes are tearing up. I can’t help it. I’m a sensitive soul. My daughter says I’m a delicate daisy. But being able to reboot the fun we once had in our youth is priceless. When those forgotten memoires are triggered, be prepared for the emotional havoc. Life is still full of sexy innocence and stomach flips no matter how old you are. So don’t feel guilty for reading that YA romance or watching the latest teen drama on TV. Inside we’re are all young at heart if we allow ourselves to be. Enjoy it. Revel in it. Regress.

I’ve been doing most of my sharing through my newsletter these days, instead of blogging, although there is something to be said for both forms a communication. If you’re interested in signing up for my newsletter, here is the link. Oh, there’s a free book in it for you if you do. Cheers. http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

 

I write sweet and spicy romance, and enjoy reading a wide range of genres. Exploring the art of the written word is a passion, and I delight in both page-turning conflict and stomach-flipping chemistry. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. My dream is to travel the world with my laptop, creating captivating characters and dreamy escapes. I sing constantly, if a bit off-key to my family’s chagrin. I’m also a klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Website: http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Romance - One Man's Point of View

Thinking about romance and what is considered romantic, in general, I casually asked my husband, at the dinner table, a few questions. His off the cuff responses were honest, funny, and fairly interesting. Here’s a little excerpt of our conversation. Keep in mind, English is my husband’s fourth language.

Me: “What does romance mean to you?”

Husband: “Love, relaxation, and sexiness.”

Me: “Haha. Okay. Tell me what kind of activities you think are romantic?”

Husband: “Walking on the beach. Watching the sunset. Talking about the future.”

Me: “Interesting. What would you consider a romantic date?”

Husband: “I never had a romantic date.”

Me: “What? Really? That’s not true.”

Husband: “Well, my lady always plans the romantic dates, so…”

Me: “Hmmm. What comes to mind when you think of romance or what have you seen in real life or movies that you thought was romantic?”

Husband: “I like when I see old couples still together. That’s really rare and really special. Also someone surprising their partner on a special day when they weren’t expecting it, like a birthday or anniversary.”

Me: “All right. Anything else come to mind when you think of romance?”

Husband: “Romance comes from ladies. Men are rough, tough, disgusting. It’s all about the love. Without love, there is no romance.”

Me: “I like that. That’s a great sentiment.”

Husband: “I mean, you think it’s romantic when I cook you something nice, right?”

Me: “Right.”

Husband: “But you don’t think it’s romantic when I try to give you a lap dance.”

Me: Bwahahahaha!!!

And we ended the conversation on that note. A lot of his statements were the cliché versions of what romance is to most, which makes me think men aren’t that different than women. I liked hearing he enjoys talking about the future. He also thinks romance is the woman’s responsibility, which was surprising. But, he’s romantic. He just doesn’t know it. Especially when he’s not trying.

Not trying = my husband cooking a beautiful dinner, ready when I come home from work.

Trying = my husband giving me a strip tease/lap dance that’s more funny than romantic.

But that’s us.

Ladies, reading this post, I challenge you to ask the man in your life what he considers romantic and comment with their response below.

Men, reading this post, comment and tell me what you think is romantic.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life, and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

 Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

 

Relationships are Hard

Relationships are hard.

Yes they are. If anyone tells you a long-term relationship is all champagne and roses, they’re lying to you. Couples argue, they fight, and they fantasize about tearing the other’s hair out. Life is tough. Things happen. Do you let those things tear you apart? Or do you pull together and come out stronger on the other side?

There are times when the kids drive you nuts and your opinions differ on how to deal with them. Finances can get tight and suddenly what the other wants to spend money on starts an argument. Stress from work or lack of work is easy to take out on your partner.

Realize that all of the above have nothing to do with how much you love your partner. Life is knocking you about. Don’t hurt the one you love because you're hurting.

Sometimes there are situations in which a compromise cannot be reached. Sometimes love is not enough, and each person must decide what they can and cannot live with. Do all the good things about this person outweigh the bad? Do I love this person enough to live with the things they do that I hate?

Make a list of all the reasons why you love your partner. Remember why you fell in love with them. Pay attention to the things they do on a daily basis that warm your heart. Be romantic. Make an effort to show them how special they are. Appreciate the good times.

Relationships are hard. But in the end, isn’t a loving relationship worth the work?

I’m not talking about abusive situations. In that case, get out now. The sooner, the better.

I’m talking about the ups and downs of real life that can tear couples apart. Fight for the one you love. Fight for your relationship. Show the other how much you value their love.

Don’t give up just because it’s hard. It’s hard for everyone.

Stay strong for you. Stay strong for each other.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

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Lazy Sundays and Quality Time

Most of us enjoy a lazy Sunday, knowing Monday is only a few hours away. The work week calls, with all its daunting responsibilities. Why can't I have one more day? I've been evangelizing the four-day work week for years, but no one seems to be listening. Just one more day...

After much snuggling Sunday morning, my husband and I opted out of household chores. Instead, we took a stroll in our little downtown area, just the two of us. We’d stayed in bed well past brunch and lunch and were just in time for a late lunch.

Clouds hinting at rain overhead, our little hometown remained warm, making it perfect weather for a walk. Holding hands, we chatted about nothing and everything. We left the kids at home (both old enough to stay home alone for an hour or so,) and focused on each other.

Family time is important. In this day and age when everyone is constantly working, parents and children need as much quality time together as possible. But adults also need quality time away from the kids. Just as children need to play together, so do the adults. There's something about connecting one-on-one, away from the kids, that’s necessary for every relationship. Parenting may be our most important role, but we’re not just parents.

We’re also friends, lovers, and companions in need of attention. We talk daily about homework, dinner, household chores, finances, and all the other things that take up the majority of our time. But what about our dreams? What about goals? Feelings? Failings? I consider my husband my best friend, and there are times when I just need to talk to my friend. To laugh, cry, and reminisce.

Don’t make bedtime the only quality alone time you have with your partner. Make time to spend with each other, away from friends, relatives, and even the kids. Talk, go for a swim, enjoy a picnic in the park, or go for a drive and gaze at the stars on a clear night. Human beings need to connect and not just on digital devices. Remember why you fell in love with your partner. Give them your undivided attention. You both deserve it.

When was the last time you and your partner connected (I mean outside the bedroom, geez) without kids, friends, or relatives present?

 

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

 

R&R - Rest and Romance

If I’m not working, I’m writing. If I’m not writing, I’m networking. Family time comes down to homework and dinner time. There’s also cleaning, cooking, laundry… There never seems to be enough time in the day or week to get all the things done I want to. I don’t see my family enough. I don’t see my friends nearly enough. My husband and I are often like ships passing in the night with our different work schedules. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m sleep deprived.

This past weekend I was feeling a bit under the weather. Saturday, I should have been writing, but I spent the day on the sofa watching television instead, with no energy for anything. Sunday, I slept in and then went to brunch with the family. I had a ton of things on my to-do list; color hair, laundry, two blog posts, fine tune the outline for my current WIP, a few scenes I should’ve been working on… Instead, I asked my husband to take a nap.

And so we did. We snuggled for a bit, talked, and flirted with doing something more. But relaxing in each other’s arms was so much more enticing than anything else. The phones were put away and the television was turned off. Birds chirping and kids playing outside in the distance floated on the cool breeze whispering through our bedroom window. And eventually, we snoozed.

It was heaven. Romantic. It’s something we should do more often.  Note to self: Must make more time for naps.

Take time to snuggle. Make time to caress and exchange sweet words with your partner. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Give your bodies the rest they need as you connect with your partner on a more intimate level.

 

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Healing Heartbreak - Take Two

There’s more to healing a broken heart than, “get over it.” I admit, my previous post, Healing Heartbreak, was slightly rushed. I can only say that I was sucked into a Harry Potter marathon weekend, on top of pumpkin picking, and an award ceremony for my daughter. It was a bit brief. Let’s dive in a little more, shall we…

One thing I want to make perfectly clear: Loving yourself is number one. Loved ones should lift you up, not bring you down. That means stepping away from a relationship that is not good for you.

How do I define an unhealthy relationship?

·         Do you compromise your morals?

·         Are you constantly trying to change yourself into what you believe is your partner’s ideal?

·         Does it seem as if you are constantly asking for more from this person than they are unwilling to give?

·         Have you lost sight of your own goals and dreams?

·         Do you only know who you are when with your partner?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of all-consuming love and the kind of love that makes your world complete. I’m a romance novelist, for crying out loud. What I’m not okay with is putting someone else’s feelings so far ahead of your own that you lose yourself.

Whatever the reason for the breakup, in my opinion, the best way to get over someone is to get back to yourself. Let’s reverse the damage.

·         Figure out what your boundaries are. What’s your moral high-ground and what are your limits.

·         Discover your beauty. It’s easy to start spouting off what we perceive as our flaws. Instead, make a list of things you love about yourself. Fall in love with you again. It’s okay to be a bit of a narcissist. You should absolutely love yourself for who you are.

·         Understand the difference between giving and receiving love. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be on the receiving end. You’re not being greedy. You’re being honest.

·         Remember the things outside a relationship that make you happy. Make a now-list, not a bucket list. Start checking things off this list now. Take that class you’ve been thinking about. Learn a new language. Travel. Go to the museum. Do what brings you joy. Remember who you are.

·         Be confident in who you are as a person. What makes you tick? What do you like? What annoys you?

I’ve said it before; confidence is sexy. Relationships come with their own set of compromises: A compromise on who makes dinner or where we go for the holidays this year. These are normal. Do not compromise your very being. You want someone who loves the real you.

So, figure you out. Find yourself. Love yourself. Be yourself. You will get over it and find you have a lot more to offer than you thought.

What is the best advice you can give for getting over heartbreak?

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Healing Heartbreak

For those of us who have loved and lost, we know how crippling heartbreak is. Your chest concaves, sucked in on itself by the emotional pressure.

It consumes us. It’s more painful than any injury we can imagine. We feel as if our soul has somehow split into a billion pieces, never to be whole again.

But then, time passes, and we hurt a little less. We stand up. Walk. Run. And soon, we’re alive again. Ready for another chance at love.

The time it takes to recover is different for everyone, but most of us can look back with a sense of relief and understand exactly why it didn’t work out.

Sometimes, it’s timing. Others, it’s the relationship itself. One may not be ready for a relationship. The other may be too afraid to open up. Personalities, circumstance, past experiences… There are so many reasons a relationship can fail.

Whatever the reason, know that your heart will heal.

Fill your lungs with oxygen. Open your eyes to the sky above you.

Life goes on. We go on.

“Love is a risk. It’s putting your heart out there, giving it to someone completely. You risk a broken heart for a chance at the greatest happiness.” Excerpt from Choosing to Dream.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Let Love In

Currently playing on iPod: Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townshend

Like it or not, our life experience shapes the way we view the world and relationships. If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you’re less likely to be open to love. I believe, when it comes to relationships, everything happens for a reason. Remember your first heartbreak? Do you look back now still heartbroken or relieved?

The first time you touch a hot pan you learn to use a pot holder. It doesn’t mean that you never make the same mistake and get burned again, but if the burn is bad enough, you’re more likely to protect yourself from future injury. Does that mean you stop using the stove and never cook again?

Absolutely not.

But what happens when you let your fears of repeating the past prevent you from having a future?

You stop living.

A partner in your past cheated on you, but your current partner may be the definition of loyalty. Don’t project the mistakes of one onto another.

You grew up with divorced parents, but you can still have a successful marriage. “Happily Ever Afters” do exist. We love. We fight. We make up. Real love is worth fighting for.

You may have had a run of bad luck in the relationship department. The next one could be “The One.”

When you’re in a loving relationship, don’t let the worry that something will derail your happiness prevent you from being happy.

Self-sabotage happens. It’s a sad reality that many of us lose out on love because of fear. Sometimes, we put up walls to protect ourselves from further heartbreak. Be careful you don’t build those walls so high you miss the love of your life serenading you at the gate.

A good relationship is a gift. Don’t throw it away because you’re afraid of getting a paper cut. Open it. Cherish it.

You are entitled to love and be loved.

If you’ve survived an abusive relationship, there are certain red flags that you look for in possible partners. These red flags are important in preventing future injury, physical and emotional, and you shouldn’t ignore them.

Learn from the past. Don’t let it destroy your future.

Let love in.

 

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Romance on the Road

Ever read a romance where a couple serendipitously meets and falls in love while on a two week vacation? My novella, Sea Breeze (excuse the shameless plug) is one of them. It’s rather common for films or books to use this plot device to bring two characters together. Some may think it’s too farfetched to happen in real life.

I disagree.

There’s something magical that happens when we’re far from home and away from the practicality of the daily grind. We become more adventurous, less inhibited. We take chances we wouldn’t normally take at home. Whether it’s zip lining, trying new exotic foods, or flirting with a stranger, these things do happen while on vacation in real life and in fiction.

I met my husband on a fifteen-day trip to Morocco. It was love at first sight, or at the minimum lust. There was an urgency in our acquaintance because we knew our time was limited. Instead of getting to know one another over several weeks of dates, we crammed it all into a few intense days together. Makes for a powerful connection.

I believe traveling and experiencing new places and cultures is one of the most rewarding and eye-opening things we can do with our lives. But this also applies to our romantic lives. Sometimes, we need adventure, we need the freedom to set aside our daily responsibilities and allow the romantic inside us to burst forth.

Isn’t it romantic to think about strolling along the Champs Élysées or taking time to sip coffee in Montmartre? I haven’t been to Paris, it’s on the list, but romance is all about discovery. That new, stomach-flipping fire inside to discover everything about a person: What makes them tick, what makes them unique, what makes them so much more freaking attractive than what we have at home. It’s similar to discovering a new place and the desire to pack up all your belongings and move there.

My experience with romance on the road turned into an overseas romance, which eventually resulted in marriage; fifteen years and counting.

So get out and get moving. Romance on the road doesn’t only happen in movies or romance novels. It’s real. If you’re not finding what you’re looking for at home, pack your bags. Take a trip. Maybe you’ll find the love of your life, or maybe you won’t. But isn’t the adventure and the possibility of romance worth the effort?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain.

Have you experienced an epic romance on the road? Comment with your story. It could inspire others to take their own trip.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Debunking Sexy

What is sexy on screen or in books doesn’t always translate in real life. I’m in favor of sweet and spicy romance in fictional and real life, but some things may be best left to fiction. Number one example: Shower sex. If you’ve done it, you know that it’s much more erotic to think about than the contortions we have to assume to make that act possible in such a small space. Doesn’t mean I think we all shouldn’t still keep striving for perfection though.

But what about the little things…

Biting the lip: This little tidbit of body language is often expressed in books or films to portray a demure flirtation, shy hesitation, or sense of thinly veiled desire. I’ve never been a lip biter, or so I thought. This morning, while walking to the train station, I realized I am a lip biter. Except I bite my lip in the morning because of allergies. I wake with a stuffy nose most days. I become a brisk-walking mouth-breather in the morning. I can’t breathe through my nose until after 10am. Not very sexy.

Lathering up in the shower: We’ve all seen those shampoo commercials and scenes in films in which the woman or man rubs mounds of soapy bubbles over their bodies. A tantalizing invitation for any spectator to join them in the above mentioned awkward shower sex. Yes, I’ve done this when my husband has happened to walk into the bathroom while I’m showering. He’s also done it to me. Sometimes, it pays off, but most of the time we just laugh at each other. Because the reality is most of us only truly enjoy our shower time by standing under the warm spray, shoulders hunched like zombies. We lather, rinse, stand lifeless as water pours over our tired bodies, and then repeat before begrudgingly turning off the water and going through the tedious efforts of drying off. Not very sexy.

The blush: Why is it when a man accuses a woman of blushing on film, her cheek never actually changes color? I’m a blusher. I’ve spent years trying to control it. It does not look like petals blooming on my alabaster skin. Nope. It’s more lobster meets tomato meets worst sunburn ever. Never subtle and usually unpredictable. It will overtake me at the most inopportune moments; like speaking in public. It’s very difficult to deal with in a professional setting. Yes, it prevents me from lying because I’m too easy to read. But cute? Demure? Sexy it is not.

So sexy in fiction is not always sexy in real life. Do I write about shower sex? Yes. My Sunset Dreams Series includes more than one steamy shower scene. Hey, I did say we should all keep striving.

Have a good example of something that’s perceived sexy in fiction, but in real life sucks? Leave a comment.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

 

Find me and my books at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Romance for singles and how to meet your mate by accident

Romance and relationships, in my opinion, are not to be found in the local meat market. Maybe you get lucky with a one-night stand that leads to more, but most likely not.

I’m not an outgoing person. I'm reserved and friendly to those who know me, but I’m not the type to put myself out there. But I’m married. I’m not single. I was horrible at being single. So how did I find my partner? By accident, when I was least expecting it, on a trip to Morocco. Have I mentioned how much I love to travel?

Okay, so why is a married woman giving advice to single people on romance? Because romance is not just for people in relationships.

It’s for everyone. Single, married, poly, dating, etc.

First piece of advice: Do what you enjoy. Find activities that interest you. If you're into wine, join a wine club. If you're into books, go to book signings. If you're into art, go to gallery showings. If you love to travel, do it. More outdoorsy? Join a hiking or biking club. Sports lover? Go to games or join and adult league sports team. Romantic film buff? Search and find those old movie showings in the park or at your local theatre. Enjoy gaming or cosplay? Find a group in your area and embrace your geek.

See where I’m going with this. Instead of spending your time at bars, waiting to pick up your next regret, get out there and do the things YOU love. Engage in activities or hobbies that interest you. Don’t spend your weekends mopping around the house because you don’t have a date. Go do something. Enjoy yourself. You'll find others that share your interests and have a lot of fun.

Second piece of advice: Self-love is key. Yes, making sure you have the tools or toys to keep yourself satisfied while you wait for the love of your life to appear and rock your world is helpful. But I’m talking about taking time to love yourself in other ways. Pamper yourself. Take a sensual bath. Go get a massage. Get your hair or nails done. Doll yourself up. Treat yourself to an expensive dinner out and take a book to read if you’re self-conscious about sitting alone in a fancy restaurant. Enjoy a nice glass of wine or a cocktail. Take a cab home. Why do you need a date to go out for a nice dinner?

Third piece of advice: Value yourself. Confident, happy people are sexy. Don’t sell yourself short. If you’re a list maker, make a list of your positives. Leave out all the negatives and focus on the things that make you the awesome person you are. Hold your head up and smile. Be friendly and be yourself. No one likes a phony. Sincerity goes a long way.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Find me and all my books at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

 

How to find the romance that's missing in your relationship

What does romance mean exactly and how can I find it?

Well, romance is different for everyone. What I find romantic may cause you to gag and vice versa. But the point is to find and implement those romantic ideas into your own relationships or lives.

Why?

Because… in my opinion, love is the meaning of life; to love and be loved. Love is what makes the world go round. You could have money, fame, intelligence, but it all means nothing, again in my opinion, without love.

Love comes in many forms: Love between children and parents, brothers and sisters, our fellow human beings, pets, etc. There is also love for my country, the earth, the wonder that is the universe, and of course self-love.

However, today I’ll be talking about that oh-so-hard-to-find relationship love, between two adults, or more if you are poly amorous. It alludes many people and seems that only a few are lucky enough to find true love; the kind in movies and romance novels.

Romance is not hard to create or find. It all comes down to thoughtfulness. Putting your partner’s needs and feelings above your own. Bring flowers home just because. Give an unsolicited massage or foot rub. Light some candles. Take a drive to gaze at the stars. Cook a sexy meal and eat dessert off of each other.

Take time to observe your partner in a casual setting. On a daily bases, it’s so easy to complain about all the little things that drive us crazy. But what about the reasons you fell in love with that person? If you’re a list maker, make a list, and then tell your partner all the reasons you love them. In a relationship that has expired its “new” stage, like my marriage of fifteen years, it’s important to remember why you chose this person to begin with.

For example: I was at a birthday party recently with my husband. He is very outgoing. The kind of guy that knows everyone and everyone knows. I’m not. I’m friendly to those I’m acquainted with, but much more reserved in social settings than he is. I certainly wouldn’t call myself outgoing by any means. I mingled and talked to those I knew. I played with my nephews and watched my son swimming. At one point, I sat down and observed my husband as he laughed and talked to a few of his friends. He was freaking hot as hell in his element. So handsome and his smile made me light up just watching him. He didn’t notice, but on the way home I told him I had been watching him. When he asked why, I let him know that I was fascinated by how exuberant he was and so damn sexy. It made his day.

On the flip side, my husband is one of those that calls constantly. He doesn’t like to be alone, unlike me who covets my alone time. So when he’s bored, he calls me. At work, at home. All the time. It drives me nuts. I spend most of my time at the day job on the phone, and I can’t stand phone calls. But he never gets tired of calling. Now, I try my best to see it for what it is; not only a cure for his boredom, but that he’s thinking of me and wants to connect. Still frustrates me to all hell, especially when I’m busy, but I love him for the attention. He reinforces this during our time alone by telling me he’s not sure what I’ve done to him, but he can’t get enough of me. Makes me feel like the luckiest woman on earth.

Romance is easy to come by. Stop looking at the negatives and focus on the positives. Take time to focus on your partner’s needs and don’t forget to tell them why you love them. It’s the most romantic thing in the world to hear why someone loves you.

 

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

 

You can find me and all my books at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

 

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1