Monday, September 14, 2015

How to find the romance that's missing in your relationship

What does romance mean exactly and how can I find it?

Well, romance is different for everyone. What I find romantic may cause you to gag and vice versa. But the point is to find and implement those romantic ideas into your own relationships or lives.


Because… in my opinion, love is the meaning of life; to love and be loved. Love is what makes the world go round. You could have money, fame, intelligence, but it all means nothing, again in my opinion, without love.

Love comes in many forms: Love between children and parents, brothers and sisters, our fellow human beings, pets, etc. There is also love for my country, the earth, the wonder that is the universe, and of course self-love.

However, today I’ll be talking about that oh-so-hard-to-find relationship love, between two adults, or more if you are poly amorous. It alludes many people and seems that only a few are lucky enough to find true love; the kind in movies and romance novels.

Romance is not hard to create or find. It all comes down to thoughtfulness. Putting your partner’s needs and feelings above your own. Bring flowers home just because. Give an unsolicited massage or foot rub. Light some candles. Take a drive to gaze at the stars. Cook a sexy meal and eat dessert off of each other.

Take time to observe your partner in a casual setting. On a daily bases, it’s so easy to complain about all the little things that drive us crazy. But what about the reasons you fell in love with that person? If you’re a list maker, make a list, and then tell your partner all the reasons you love them. In a relationship that has expired its “new” stage, like my marriage of fifteen years, it’s important to remember why you chose this person to begin with.

For example: I was at a birthday party recently with my husband. He is very outgoing. The kind of guy that knows everyone and everyone knows. I’m not. I’m friendly to those I’m acquainted with, but much more reserved in social settings than he is. I certainly wouldn’t call myself outgoing by any means. I mingled and talked to those I knew. I played with my nephews and watched my son swimming. At one point, I sat down and observed my husband as he laughed and talked to a few of his friends. He was freaking hot as hell in his element. So handsome and his smile made me light up just watching him. He didn’t notice, but on the way home I told him I had been watching him. When he asked why, I let him know that I was fascinated by how exuberant he was and so damn sexy. It made his day.

On the flip side, my husband is one of those that calls constantly. He doesn’t like to be alone, unlike me who covets my alone time. So when he’s bored, he calls me. At work, at home. All the time. It drives me nuts. I spend most of my time at the day job on the phone, and I can’t stand phone calls. But he never gets tired of calling. Now, I try my best to see it for what it is; not only a cure for his boredom, but that he’s thinking of me and wants to connect. Still frustrates me to all hell, especially when I’m busy, but I love him for the attention. He reinforces this during our time alone by telling me he’s not sure what I’ve done to him, but he can’t get enough of me. Makes me feel like the luckiest woman on earth.

Romance is easy to come by. Stop looking at the negatives and focus on the positives. Take time to focus on your partner’s needs and don’t forget to tell them why you love them. It’s the most romantic thing in the world to hear why someone loves you.
I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.
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