Monday, September 28, 2015

Debunking Sexy

What is sexy on screen or in books doesn’t always translate in real life. I’m in favor of sweet and spicy romance in fictional and real life, but some things may be best left to fiction. Number one example: Shower sex. If you’ve done it, you know that it’s much more erotic to think about than the contortions we have to assume to make that act possible in such a small space. Doesn’t mean I think we all shouldn’t still keep striving for perfection though.

But what about the little things…

Biting the lip: This little tidbit of body language is often expressed in books or films to portray a demure flirtation, shy hesitation, or sense of thinly veiled desire. I’ve never been a lip biter, or so I thought. This morning, while walking to the train station, I realized I am a lip biter. Except I bite my lip in the morning because of allergies. I wake with a stuffy nose most days. I become a brisk-walking mouth-breather in the morning. I can’t breathe through my nose until after 10am. Not very sexy.

Lathering up in the shower: We’ve all seen those shampoo commercials and scenes in films in which the woman or man rubs mounds of soapy bubbles over their bodies. A tantalizing invitation for any spectator to join them in the above mentioned awkward shower sex. Yes, I’ve done this when my husband has happened to walk into the bathroom while I’m showering. He’s also done it to me. Sometimes, it pays off, but most of the time we just laugh at each other. Because the reality is most of us only truly enjoy our shower time by standing under the warm spray, shoulders hunched like zombies. We lather, rinse, stand lifeless as water pours over our tired bodies, and then repeat before begrudgingly turning off the water and going through the tedious efforts of drying off. Not very sexy.

The blush: Why is it when a man accuses a woman of blushing on film, her cheek never actually changes color? I’m a blusher. I’ve spent years trying to control it. It does not look like petals blooming on my alabaster skin. Nope. It’s more lobster meets tomato meets worst sunburn ever. Never subtle and usually unpredictable. It will overtake me at the most inopportune moments; like speaking in public. It’s very difficult to deal with in a professional setting. Yes, it prevents me from lying because I’m too easy to read. But cute? Demure? Sexy it is not.

So sexy in fiction is not always sexy in real life. Do I write about shower sex? Yes. My Sunset Dreams Series includes more than one steamy shower scene. Hey, I did say we should all keep striving.

Have a good example of something that’s perceived sexy in fiction, but in real life sucks? Leave a comment.
I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.


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