Romance - One Man's Point of View

Thinking about romance and what is considered romantic, in general, I casually asked my husband, at the dinner table, a few questions. His off the cuff responses were honest, funny, and fairly interesting. Here’s a little excerpt of our conversation. Keep in mind, English is my husband’s fourth language.

Me: “What does romance mean to you?”

Husband: “Love, relaxation, and sexiness.”

Me: “Haha. Okay. Tell me what kind of activities you think are romantic?”

Husband: “Walking on the beach. Watching the sunset. Talking about the future.”

Me: “Interesting. What would you consider a romantic date?”

Husband: “I never had a romantic date.”

Me: “What? Really? That’s not true.”

Husband: “Well, my lady always plans the romantic dates, so…”

Me: “Hmmm. What comes to mind when you think of romance or what have you seen in real life or movies that you thought was romantic?”

Husband: “I like when I see old couples still together. That’s really rare and really special. Also someone surprising their partner on a special day when they weren’t expecting it, like a birthday or anniversary.”

Me: “All right. Anything else come to mind when you think of romance?”

Husband: “Romance comes from ladies. Men are rough, tough, disgusting. It’s all about the love. Without love, there is no romance.”

Me: “I like that. That’s a great sentiment.”

Husband: “I mean, you think it’s romantic when I cook you something nice, right?”

Me: “Right.”

Husband: “But you don’t think it’s romantic when I try to give you a lap dance.”

Me: Bwahahahaha!!!

And we ended the conversation on that note. A lot of his statements were the cliché versions of what romance is to most, which makes me think men aren’t that different than women. I liked hearing he enjoys talking about the future. He also thinks romance is the woman’s responsibility, which was surprising. But, he’s romantic. He just doesn’t know it. Especially when he’s not trying.

Not trying = my husband cooking a beautiful dinner, ready when I come home from work.

Trying = my husband giving me a strip tease/lap dance that’s more funny than romantic.

But that’s us.

Ladies, reading this post, I challenge you to ask the man in your life what he considers romantic and comment with their response below.

Men, reading this post, comment and tell me what you think is romantic.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life, and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

 Find me at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

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Debunking Sexy

What is sexy on screen or in books doesn’t always translate in real life. I’m in favor of sweet and spicy romance in fictional and real life, but some things may be best left to fiction. Number one example: Shower sex. If you’ve done it, you know that it’s much more erotic to think about than the contortions we have to assume to make that act possible in such a small space. Doesn’t mean I think we all shouldn’t still keep striving for perfection though.

But what about the little things…

Biting the lip: This little tidbit of body language is often expressed in books or films to portray a demure flirtation, shy hesitation, or sense of thinly veiled desire. I’ve never been a lip biter, or so I thought. This morning, while walking to the train station, I realized I am a lip biter. Except I bite my lip in the morning because of allergies. I wake with a stuffy nose most days. I become a brisk-walking mouth-breather in the morning. I can’t breathe through my nose until after 10am. Not very sexy.

Lathering up in the shower: We’ve all seen those shampoo commercials and scenes in films in which the woman or man rubs mounds of soapy bubbles over their bodies. A tantalizing invitation for any spectator to join them in the above mentioned awkward shower sex. Yes, I’ve done this when my husband has happened to walk into the bathroom while I’m showering. He’s also done it to me. Sometimes, it pays off, but most of the time we just laugh at each other. Because the reality is most of us only truly enjoy our shower time by standing under the warm spray, shoulders hunched like zombies. We lather, rinse, stand lifeless as water pours over our tired bodies, and then repeat before begrudgingly turning off the water and going through the tedious efforts of drying off. Not very sexy.

The blush: Why is it when a man accuses a woman of blushing on film, her cheek never actually changes color? I’m a blusher. I’ve spent years trying to control it. It does not look like petals blooming on my alabaster skin. Nope. It’s more lobster meets tomato meets worst sunburn ever. Never subtle and usually unpredictable. It will overtake me at the most inopportune moments; like speaking in public. It’s very difficult to deal with in a professional setting. Yes, it prevents me from lying because I’m too easy to read. But cute? Demure? Sexy it is not.

So sexy in fiction is not always sexy in real life. Do I write about shower sex? Yes. My Sunset Dreams Series includes more than one steamy shower scene. Hey, I did say we should all keep striving.

Have a good example of something that’s perceived sexy in fiction, but in real life sucks? Leave a comment.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.

 

Find me and my books at http://www.yoursweetandspicyromanceauthor.com/

Signup to join My Dream Team: http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

Real Romance

The romance novels of old spoke of refined ladies, dapper gentlemen, saucy wenches, and sexy scoundrels. In today’s contemporary romance novels, you’ll still find all of the above, but you’ll also find strong heroines, capable of saving themselves.

But romance isn’t always romantic, just like people aren’t always perfect. That’s what makes it and them genuine.

What do I mean?

·         Heroes aren’t perfect. They are flawed beings that have heroic moments. When put to a test, they may fail a few times, but eventually will do the right thing.

·         Sex is messy. Yep, there’s this thing called gravity and physics and fluids don’t stay where you want them to. I write great sex. Maybe not always realistic, but fan-freaking-tastic. However, there will be times when things get a little awkward. Because in real life, that happens.

·         Bodily functions: Yep, we all have them, including fictional characters.

·         Insecurities. You may be a strong person, but everyone has insecurities. Love is one of the easiest things to misread. Why? Because we are all so ready to believe something negative than something positive, we overlook that person who is head-over-heels in love with all our flaws.

Does this mean that my books are full of self-depreciating assholes who fart while having sex?

No. But there will be real doubt, real flaws, real problems, and maybe an occasional fart, because sex can also be funny.

Do you enjoy real life quirks in your romance novels or do you want it all to be fantastical bliss?

I was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and have a husband and two children. Music is an addiction. I can often be found in the car, singing along at the top of my lungs to whatever is playing. I work full time, and I split my spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. I’m a habitual quoter. Lines from films and TV shows constantly pop into my head—my kids are the only ones that really get it. I’m an only child, and so of course I married a man who is one of ten children. Other than English, I speak Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. I love to travel, but don’t do enough of it. Reading has been a passion for most of my life and I now love writing. I’m klutz, and in my own mind, I’m hilarious.
Find me at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com


Choosing to Dream, Book 2 in the Sunset Dreams Series, Releases Friday, July 17th, 2015. Join my release day bash by clicking on the photo below.

 

What's on the menu? Sweet and spicy romance.

Food Network and The Travel Channel are always on the TV in my house. Unless the SF Giants are playing, but I digress.

Chopped. Cutthroat Kitchen. Next Food Network Star. Anthony Bourdain. DDD. When I'm tired of the same old dinner recipes, those shows provide great ideas. Instead of making a regular burger at home, I make a Juicy Lucy with fresh jalapenos and pepper jack cheese. Instead of heading out for pizza, we take a drive and get our grub on at a local BBQ restaurant.

There's one thing that all those food shows and competitions have in common: The food must be delicious. You can have the highest degree from the best culinary academy, can talk the biggest game about your skills in gastronomy, brag about being the head chef at a five star restaurant, but your food must back it up.

So today I will back up my sweet and spicy with an excerpt from one of my books below.

Sweet Dreams:

Tonight, I finish cleaning up early and turn off the sign. Selecting one of my playlists and making sure the volume isn’t too loud, I carry the twinkle lights I bought earlier out to the back patio to hang them.

This will be good.

I know once the patio is set up the customers will love it, especially on sunny days and warm nights.

“Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star plays softly as I sing along, standing on a chair outside, stringing up the lights. I’m doing a pretty good job and am impressed by my work so far, when I hear someone call, “Jen?” from inside the café.

I yell, “Back here!” not worrying who it might be as they obviously know my name. Having trouble with this one string of lights, I stand up on the tabletop next to me to try and get it to wrap correctly around the clothesline I hung a few months ago.

“Back where?” The voice asks.

As I’m about to get the string just right, I see a ginormous green stick bug staring at me from the wall I’m leaning against. I freeze, not wanting to make any sudden moves that could cause it to jump and attack me.

The voice again calls, “Are you all right? Where are you?”

I’m paralyzed with fear, exactly like in my nightmares. I want to scream, but nothing will come out.

Calm down, calm down…

Finally finding my voice, I keep both eyes on the green goblin staring back at me, and squeak out, “I’m in the back.”

My heart pounds and I don’t know what to do. The door to the kitchen opens and shoes tap the floor coming toward me. The green goblin decides to make his move and starts to crawl closer to me.

“Ahhhhhhhh!!!!”

Someone crashes through the door. Turning to see who it is in my bug induced fear, I find Jake looking up at me with a relieved look on his face.

“Jake, what are you doing here?” I ask, panting.

He eyes me up and down. “This isn’t smart, someone could rob the place while you’re back here.”

With a wobble in my voice, I turn back to the wall and watch the ugly thing inch closer to me. “Rob me of what, paper cups? I already closed the register.”

Please don’t jump on me, please don’t jump on me.

He huffs and asks, “Do you want help? Why did you scream?”

I snap back. “Because the green goblin is going to get me, and no I don’t need any help!” I take a step down to the chair below, with my eyes on my enemy on the wall, lose my footing and start to fall.

In the time it takes for me to reach the ground, I catch Jake’s eye and see him realize I’m falling and position himself to try and catch me. It all happens in slow motion and in that time I imagine falling into Jake’s open arms and him romantically cradling me against his chest.

That is not what happens.

Nope. Of course not.

I let out a yelp as the chair goes out from under me, praying I don’t hit my head on the wall as I come down. Jake tries to catch me but fails and I end up landing on him, taking him down with me. We’re in an awkward heap on the cement floor, me on top, and he grunts as my full weight hits him and knocks the wind out of him.

Straining to speak he says, “Well, that didn’t work.”

I’m embarrassed, but also disappointed he didn’t come to my rescue like in the movies. “Thanks for catching me,” I say sarcastically. “Help me up please?”

Jake scoffs. “I can’t. You are crushing me!”

“Oh, fine, I was hoping you were a gentleman.” I start to get up and accidently knee him in the stomach. “Sorry.” I get my feet under me and offer him a hand to help him up.

Jake gets up slowly, takes a deep breath and says, “No problem.”

Embarrassed, I move to pick up the chair, feel my ankle give way and hiss. “Son of a Biscuit.” Holding onto the edge of the table, I rub my ankle while I stand on one foot.

“Serves you right, that was dangerous in so many ways!” He’s scolding me again.

The nerve!

“Nope, no gentleman here!” I say, glaring at him.

Wow, so not the poor baby I was looking for.

Slowly, I start to limp back into the café and I hear Jake say from behind me, “Oh for crying out loud.”

He sweeps me up and my arm automatically goes around his neck as he carries me into the café toward the counter.

All I can think as I look up at his profile is how good he smells and how strong his arms are around me. Feeling no pain, I gaze up at him as he slowly sets me down on the counter. I let go a beat too late and he looks me in the eye, clears his throat and then looks down at my foot. My chest heaves and my face must be the color of a ripe tomato.

Could I be more obvious?

Sweet buttercups, he smells good.

He stands in between my legs as they dangle from the counter while he examines my foot and I can’t help but notice what a perfect height he is to…Stop!

I shake my head to clear those thoughts from continuing down that path and say, “Well, maybe there’s hope after all.”

With a little smirk he says, “Maybe."

 

 

Sweet Dreams is available on Amazon and Free with Kindle Unlimited.

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 Thank you for reading.

www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

When Butterflies Attack

Butterflies are beautiful, although as someone with a slight (read not so slight) phobia of bugs, browsing photos of butterflies creeps me out. I'm absolutely not one of those people who would go to a butterfly farm and let them land on me...shudder, and this post is not about an actual butterfly swarm.

I'm talking today about the ones that make an appearance in our stomachs. The stomach flippers.

There are lots of reasons why our stomachs flip: Fear, surprise, anticipation, nerves, shock, and my favorite, attraction.

Today, one of my favorite ladies gave me butterflies. I have somewhat of a same-sex crush--- the equivalent of bromance for women--- on this lovely lady. Not because I adore her writing and fangirl regularly over her books. And not because she's a beautiful woman and an amazing friend. Nope. Today, her words caused my stomach to flip because she's my editor. Let me explain.

My editor has had my latest novel, Choosing to Dream, Book 2 in my Sunset Dreams Series, for the last few weeks. She's sent me regular updates on her progress, but today, she sent me The Message. It was a quick text letting me know she was done, sending me the edit, and her editing letter. She warned that before I open the edited MS, I was to read the letter and let her know if I had any questions.

Uh oh. Butterflies. I sent a quick message back letting her know how ominous her message was. Her response was another warning. "And I will tell you now that I was very hard on you. Because you can take it."

My response, "Bring it on."

See, I never knew how wonderful it was to work with an editor until I started working with an editor. And I was lucky enough to find one that truly has my best interest at heart. This is the fourth project we've worked on together. I want her to push me and ask her to do exactly that. I want her to help me reach that next level. I am one of the few writers I know who loves this process.

As I waited for her email with the aforementioned editing letter to come through, the butterflies in my stomach started to wreak havoc. What if I can't take it? What if it says this book is a total redo? What if she hated it?


Honestly, at this point in my career, if she would've told me it was a total redo, than I would've postponed the release until it was ready. I have no interest in putting out a mediocre story. If I'm going to stay true to my motto of improving with each title I release, then at minimum, this book has to be better than Sweet Dreams, Book 1 in the series. I'm not willing to sacrifice quality for timelines. After all, I am the queen of my publishing schedule.

Once the editing letter came through, it was extensive. Lots of ways to improve the story itself, language used, character development. Butterflies were crashing against my ribcage looking for an escape. There is a lot to be done. However, my editor advised that I am at a point in my writing where I'm ready to dig a little deeper. She's pushing me, but confident that I now have the skill to make the changes and improvements she's suggesting.

Her vote of confidence is extremely comforting, but as I'm writing this post, the butterflies are still fluttering. It's exciting to move forward like this, but also terrifying. This is what I wanted. I asked for it. Now it's time to get to work.

That's why I adore my editor. She gives tough love. She gives honest encouragement. She gives me butterflies. What makes your stomach flip?


My current romance, Sea Breeze, releases May 27th. Join My Dream Team, for a sneak peek at the first two chapters.

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Find me and all my news on my website at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

Book Trailers- Behind the Camera

Book trailers...some are amazing works of cinematic art. Some, not so much. There are companies you can hire to create these masterpieces for you. Someday, maybe I'll hire one as well. For now, I'm saving my pennies and making my own.

How, you ask?

On my laptop at home. No, I don't have some high tech computer or fancy software. Initially, I thought that's what I would need, but it turns out all I need is my Dell laptop. No, I don't have a Mac.

When I was browsing the apps in the app store, looking for video software, I realized that my laptop came with a movie maker app. Free. Who knew. I bet there are dozens of other useful apps on my laptop that I don't even realize are there. Make sure you check out your own computer.

Selecting photos images: Here you need to make sure you are using royalty free photos, or you have purchased photos with a license to use them. This is not the time to use a photo of Chris Hemsworth you found on Pinterest.

Music is a great way highlight the text and photos. You will need royalty free music. You can find it on iTunes. Do not use your favorite song or title from the playlist you created for your book unless you have the specific written permission from the artist to do so.  I know it's tempting, but don't do it.

Titles and script should be kept short and sweet. Something that can be read at a glance in less than seconds seems optimum in my opinion.

The software you use will come with lots of different tools to animate the trailer. Play around with each of them to determine how you want photos to fade from one to the other, as well as titles, and font.

I've found it's better to keep your trailer under one minute, so you don't loose the interest of the audience. I'm currently working on a trailer for Sea Breeze, my new romance scheduled to release May 27th, and very excited to debut it, once the cover is revealed.

Below is the trailer I created for Sweet Dreams. Take a peek if you're interested. One of these days, I'm going to figure out how to use live-action images.

Thanks for tuning in. Happy Monday.

Sea Breeze is scheduled for release May 27th. Stay in the know by joining My Dream Team. Members will receive the first two chapters of Sea Breeze in the May newsletter for free. Click the link to sign up. http://eepurl.com/bjAzz1

You can find more information about me on my website at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

Don't Rush-Publish Your Best

A lot of writers, myself included, work on a deadline. Some of them self-imposed, others imposed for projects they have signed up for, and still others, part of a contract from a publisher.

The beauty of being a self-published author is controlling your own deadlines. I have control of my own career. And now that I'm starting to grasp that, I know that it's important to put out the best work possible.

That being said, I recently pulled out of a project because of this exact reason. I was excited to participate in it. I would be publishing with my friends, as I have before. But my work is not ready.

The assignment was a short story. It has now become an epic saga, at least, in my mind. It's a paranormal suspense series. I've come up with such an extensive storyline, that I've decided to turn it into a series.

I could use the project to feature a short novella and kickoff the series, which is what I was considering for quite a while.

Here's the thing; since I know this is a project, that will contain historical aspects, paranormal aspects, and characters that will reappear over several books, I need to get this shit right from the get go. Blunt, but there it is.

I need to build my world and outline it. My timeline needs to be complete so I can see the tie in for each book, especially since the series will have several overreaching arcs. My characters need to be fully developed. With paranormal aspects, I need to decide what characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses my creatures posses. With historical aspects, I need to do research. A lot of research.

I want this project of mine to be fabulous. Not half-assed. So it was time to put on the brakes.

Do I want to publish books as fast as I can? Yes. But that doesn't mean I should. I want quality. Quantity will come.

As a reader, I hate having to wait for the next installment of a really good book, and have stopped reading a series, while I wait for the next one. Why would I expect my readers to be any different.

Nope. I will be taking my time. Getting it right. I want to readers to clamor for the next book in the series, and I want it to be available. So I will not rush. I will publish my best.

What are your thoughts as a reader about waiting for the next book in a series to be released? How long do you wait? What is the ideal timeframe between releases in your opinion?

Thanks for reading. You can find me and all my links on my website at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

Positive Feedback

I recently received some really amazing feedback from my editor on my latest project. Was my MS perfect? No, of course not. But she's edited three of my books so far, and with this one she noticed a marked improvement in the quality of my writing. “This is probably the single best thing about being an editor. Truly. The amount you’ve improved from Sweet Dreams to Angels in Disguise to this (Sea Breeze, coming this summer) is amazing.” Yes! She said a lot of other squeal worthy stuff that I’m keeping to myself, but it made my day…week actually. She sent me her notes and suggested corrections, and there were really only three places she was asking me to reword. The rest was adding in some of the dreaded comas. (Lord knows if I’ll ever figure those suckers out.) It was an incredible feeling. Does loving her comments and sharing them here make me narcissistic? Hmmm, let’s see…

Narcissistic-have an undue fascination with oneself; vain

No, that’s not it. Her words made me feel good about my work and progress, but I am not fascinated with myself by any means. Am I being vain?

Vain-excessively proud of or concerned about one’s own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited

No, that’s not it either. I am proud of this achievement, but in no way conceited about it. I know I still have a long way to go. In fact, I’m finishing up my self-edits on another full length novel before I send it to said editor, and now I worry that it won’t be as good as Sea Breeze. Now that I know I am moving in the right direction with my writing, I’m afraid of taking two steps forward and one step back. What if, because of the length of this book, or any other reason, my current WIP isn’t up to that same level of quality? I want my writing to improve with each book I write, and now I’m doubting myself. Does that make me insecure? Diffident?

Diffident-lacking confidence in one’s own ability, worth, or fitness; timid, shy

I do not have a lack of confidence in my worth or potential, but by no means do I pretend to be an expert on writing. No, I look for advice from the experts. I want to grow and reach that level someday where other writers are looking to me for advice, commending me for my style.

I never started writing to become a famous writer. Honestly, I had a story in me and thought, “Hey, I’m going to write a book,” just to see if I could do it. It was more of a bucket list goal. But now I’m hooked. Just as good books hook the reader, I’ve been hooked into writing. I now want that praise. I want readers to discover my work, to love my work, to recommend my books to other readers. I want each book I produce to be better than the last. And I want my last book to be my masterpiece. What does that make me?

Ambitious-eagerly desirous of achieving or obtaining success, power, wealth, a specific goal, etc.

I do desire the success of achieving the very specific goal of becoming a better writer. The wealth that can come, if you’re lucky, with being a best seller someday, or the power that comes with it, is a dream for most writers. Hey, I won’t deny it would be nice.

Now, I just need to finish my current self-edits and hand over my new novel to my editor. (Bites fingernail.) I hope it’s good enough.

How do you react to positive feedback? Does it spur you on, or cause you to doubt?

You can find me online at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

 

Sea Breeze is coming this summer. Stay tuned.

New Romance-coming this summer

I love summer. The long daylight hours, the warmth, and lazy afternoons by the pool are my idea of heaven. I love leaving the house at night and not having to worry about carrying a coat. It's my absolute favorite time of year.

That's why when the Writing Wenches said, "Hey anyone want to participate in a summer anthology?" I was in.

I'm now pleased to announce I've finished writing Sea Breeze, a 20k word romantic short that will be published this summer as part of the Writing Wenches summer romance anthology.

My story takes place on the Stella Maris, during a fourteen day cruise in the Caribbean. Jordan, my FMC, is a flair bartender from Vegas and a guest. Eric, my MMC, works as a bartender on the ship. Jordan's looking for a fresh start, and the two can't seem to stay away from each other. Will they find love? Who knows, anything is possible.

For more information follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jsenhaji13

Thanks for reading.

You can find me and all my links online at www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com